I ran into an article from the New York Daily News few days ago. I thought it was pretty interesting:
Nerds make better lovers
Ready for a real relationship? Ditch the
pretty boys and grab yourself a geek
By TRACEY LOMRANTZ
Sitcom siren Courteney Cox saw a prince charming in fashion freestylist David Arquette.
Golfers aren’t notorious studs, but Swedish stunner Elin Nordegren thinks hubby Tiger Woods has got game.
Super-chic Rachel Bilson fell for her slightly geeky co-star Adam Brody, on-screen and off.
Christina Aguilera recently traded in piercings for petticoats, apparently making the usual Marilyn Monroe morph. But there’s more than meets the eye: Sure, she’s blond, buxom and sweet-voiced now, but she’s also emulating the classic bombshell in matters of the heart.
You see, Aguilera’s fiance, like Monroe’s husband, playwright Arthur Miller, is kind of a geek.
I looked at this article in two ways. My usual cynical way, and then in a sort of optimistic way. I was cynical because people rarely do what’s good for them. This is why girls keep talking about how they want to date a nice, sensitive, caring and good guy, but then they say “Oh instead, let me just date this asshole over here!”. Then they will come and cry on the shoulder of the nice guy about how terrible guys are and about how they can’t find any nice guys. This nice guy of course has a romantic interest in the girl. But the girl is not the only one to blame – you gotta blame the nice guy for being a glutton for punishment and sticking around with a girl like that.
This whole nice guy thing is a favourite topic for me to rant on, and is pet peeve. It defies all logical explanation – doesn’t make any sense. I mean, it’s like going to a car dealership that sells really great cars at really great prices. They are economical, have great mileage, have the latest features and gadgets, and rate extremely high on safety features. You talk to the sales consultant about how all you are looking for is a great car. Then you turn around and go to the neighbouring dealership to buy a flashy-looking car with terrible mileage, low safety ratings, and that will break down much, MUCH earlier than the one sold by the first dealership. Then everytime you take your flashy car to the mechanic to get it repaired, you stop over at the first dealership and complain to the salesperson about how terrible your current car is, and how you can’t ever find a nice reliable car. I mean come on – that certainly deserves an almighty WTF?! My only explanation is that some women are simply illogical and manipulative. They like having the nice guys around them because they get the attention, but they want the “bad boys” because of some misplaced sense of adventure and the equally misplaced belief that they can somehow “change them” and you know that’s just SOOO freaking romantic because then the guy changed his personality just for them!! Aww so sweet right? Yeah right. Let me tell you sweetheart – once a jerk, always a jerk. The good news is that some of these girls realize that their position is rather tenuous and immature – I guess it’s a part of growing up. I can’t say nice guys are all that blameless either. Some of them do need to develop a spine. Being nice all your life will get you nowhere, and people will take advantage of you. You probably have some sort of altruistic ideal and probably think that playing the martyr makes you a better person. Er. No. The world is a terrible, terrible place and sometimes you have to be tough. So get a spine and be a man. And like the illogical girls, the spineless nice guys also eventually develop a spine, and maybe it’s part of their growing-up process. So all will eventually be well in the world. Maybe.
Ok enough about the cynical and bitter view. My optimistic view was that maybe things are coming around. The fact of the matter is that very few people, much less women, actually know how geeks and nerds (most geeks/nerds are nice guys) think. Despite the cultural stereotype of the socially inept (and thus ostracized) nerd, a lot of nerds can hold their own in a social situation. It’s just that they do things differently. It takes a woman with patience to find that out. Nerds may not be as aggressive as that macho jock who will sweet-talk you, and then in the end be a total jerk to you. But they are able to provide – emotionally, physically, and financially (for the shoes! *duck*). Women may finally be realizing this. All it takes is just a little bit of patience and you can really see nerds for what they are – caring, sensitive, and loving individuals, albeit a little shy and reticent. In addition, nerds and geeks may have a mild form of Asperger’s Syndrome which would explain some of their idiosyncratic behaviour.
Anyway, I was talking about how nerds think differently – most of them approach things as if they were problems to be solved. This includes a relationship. This could be an issue, because it’s probably better to just “go with the flow” than to try and analyze everything. This attribute of “solving problems” extends to even emotional problems. Sometimes a partner will just want to talk about an emotional problem, without actually seeking any resolution. In this scenario the nerd will actively try to discern the cause of said problem and will then try to solve it – much to the frustration of the partner, who merely needs a sympathetic ear. What is also unfathomable to some people is the zeal with which nerds approach problems. If a nerd has a seemingly unsolvable problem, he/she will keep at it until he/she solves it, quite often ignoring everything else around them. This is also a source for frustration.
Bottom line – nerds are rich individuals. Just take the time to get to know them and understand them.