SETI Dog: Listens for signals from space

Note: This is Ham, my sister’s tri-color Beagle. He recently had an allergy to his collar and so my sister put the dog cone on him so that he wouldn’t scratch at his neck all the time. She also took pictures. This particular one made me laugh and so I made a poster out of it.

She said, “Yes”. Although I guess it was never in doubt that she would say anything else (being a semi-arranged marriage and all), it still feels nice . The official engagement ceremony was today. It was a traditional Nair engagement ceremony (known as a nischayam – literally translated, “decision”) where both families express their consent to the alliance and inform everyone in attendance of the same. I don’t have pictures of the ceremony on me; I’m waiting on the CD of photos from the photographers. This picture is from when I first gave her the ring.

Five years ago, I made a similarly introspective post and I wondered where I would be five years from then. Well, so here I am. 27 years old… almost 28… I’m a veteran of a war and I’m finishing up my military service, I’m a citizen, I’m gainfully employed at a job that I absolutely love, I still own a house and a car, and finally, last but not the least, I have found that special someone I’ve been looking for my entire life (and let me tell you, she’s AMAZING). There were many times during the last ten years that were hard for me… but I somehow got through it all, and actually ended up on top when all was said and done.

Looking back at my early days in this country I laugh at myself when I think of how naïve I used to be. But I guess that’s a part of life and it’s probably something that everyone goes through. All in all, I think I’ve done pretty well for myself. So, here’s to another wonderful ten years.

Earlier I pointed out that the needs of the individual do not come first. This is not such a big deal for people from my parents’ generation. Joint families were common in India even fifty years ago. However, people of my generation have grown up in nuclear families. While we still maintain our family ties and bonds, and while they are very strong, our view of the world is a little different. For us, our individual likes and needs are very important. I do not mean that we are selfish. It’s just that for us, priorities are a little different. We want our prospective mate to be someone we consider attractive, and whose personality that we like. Their family details are important, but not as much to a degree as their personal details. For parents, family background, religion, and caste are the most important. Though they do want their future daughter or son-in-law to be someone that their child likes, the family details are what comes first. This is the disconnect between Indian parents and their children, when it comes to searching for a boy or a girl to marry. This is also the disconnect between sites like shaadi.com and their users.

Matrimonial sites tout the ease with which one can find their soul-mate. They highlight the numerous success stories and the large number of profiles that are visible. All of this is true. There are many people who have found their soul-mates and there are a large number of profiles. But the problem inherent to all these sites is that they are not built for individuals. These sites are exclusively geared towards families (of boys and girls) looking to connect with families (of boys and girls). Yes, you can make a profile that makes it look like it comes from you, personally, but these profiles will have a hard time attracting attention. In fact, I had a huge argument with my parents when they put up my profile. I wanted to list it as coming from myself, while they wanted to list it as coming from the parents. I couldn’t understand their reasoning. I was the one looking for someone, therefore the profile had to come from me. Apparently not. It’s more “respectable” for it to come from a family, and it is the family that initiates the alliance. So there it is once again: the individual vs. the family. There are many other reasons why the site simply doesn’t work for people like me. Take the issue of photographs. India is a very conservative country, and families are extremely reluctant to put pictures of their daughters on a website. Couple that with the general ignorance regarding the working of the internet (they probably think anyone, anywhere on the internet can see pictures of their precious little princess), and you have a recipe for extreme paranoia. Therefore you will see a lot of profiles that simply don’t have any pictures, or where you have to request pictures, or where pictures are protected. Before I am accused of being too superficial, I think people are naïve if they think that looks don’t play a part. Perhaps there are people who don’t really care, and I salute you. But I will admit that I am not one of them; I need to find someone physically attractive. Anyway, that’s another argument. The other major issue is the issue of horoscopes. Indian families are usually very religious and can also be superstitious. Horoscopes play a huge part in the lives of many Indians; from starting on a journey, or looking for a job, all the way to getting married. Horoscopes are related to the Zodiac. I don’t want to go into the specific details, but it’s based on the theory that the arrangement of stars and planets at one’s birth has a significant influence on their life. So when you are looking for a spouse, you need to make sure that the “horoscopes match”. In many profiles you will see the following comment “Horoscope match is a must”. Some families won’t even consider your profile if your horoscope doesn’t match with their child’s horoscope. Being somewhat of a skeptic and also not being a fan of a deterministic future I find the whole thing funny, stupid, annoying, and bizarre at the same time. To be fair, not all Indian families think that horoscopes are important (my family doesn’t), but a lot of them do.

In addition to the two main points I brought up above, there are other little ones. Each profile has a host of different attributes about the family. Such as financial status (Lower-middle class, middle-class, rich, very rich, I’ve got my own fucking jet fool!), family values (conservative, moderately conservative, liberal, very liberal) and bunch of other stuff. Oh, yes, and as far as Nairs (the caste that I belong to) are concerned, some people also write what tharavad (ancestral homestead/family) they’re from. So the emerging pictures is this, and I reiterate: shaadi.com is not for a person looking for a another person. It’s for a family, looking for another family; it’s a problem for me, and I’m willing to wager that it’s a problem for a lot of people like me (as far as how we were brought up, i.e., outside India).

Although I find the whole situation ridiculous and frustrating, I don’t think there is a difference between what I want, and what my parents want. We both want the same thing: a good girl, with a stable family, who can be a part of our family. The difference is how we want to go about it, and the compromises we are willing to make. I know that it is unreasonable to expect to meet someone who is perfect in every way, but we want someone that is at least reasonably close. For my parents, the family is most important, and so they think it’s alright to compromise a little bit as far as the girl is concerned (You don’t like the way she looks? Looks aren’t everything you know!). But for me, it’s the girl first and the family second. I don’t see this situation changing any time soon (for me, or for the many others in my situation). I’m hopeful that eventually I’ll find someone who I’m happy with and who my family is happy with. Although I will say this: going through what I’m going now, I’m pretty sure that I don’t want my children dealing with the same thing. So maybe, hopefully, things will be different within the next twenty to thirty years…

The second thing was that my parents were here for a long time, and so I was spending most of my time with them. Then what else… oh yes, there was a thunderstorm and the power went out and my server decided that it didn’t recognize the NIC it had recognized for the past four years. So I went and bought a new one, and as soon as I plugged it in, it recognized the old one. I love computers. Then of course, there’s the fact that I was just pretty lazy. For some insane reason I decided that I wanted to upgrade the server to FreeBSD 7.0 and then I kinda just dragged my foot on setting everything else up.

Finally, there was my getting deployed again. Yeah, you read that right. I was going to Iraq… again. I pretty much found out about it around the time of my WLC training. So there was all the preparation for that. I really wasn’t looking forward to going (who does, anyway?) but I figured I had to (all that duty stuff, raising my right hand, taking the oath). However a few weeks ago I found out that I really didn’t have to go. As it turned out it hadn’t been two years since I got back and so I had the option of not going. So I told my readiness NCO that I didn’t want to go. I have my career to think of, and I think one tour in Iraq is more than enough. I was pretty torn when I had to make that decision. It took me about half a second to decide what I wanted to do. Part of me almost wanted to say “yes”. But I think this is the better decision.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you all know that I’m alive and that I’m definitely going to try and write more frequently on this journal. I’m doing a lot of exciting things at work and I’d like to be able to write about them. So, until next time…

I got a few more offers and did a few more interviews before finally accepting a position at Infusion Software. They basically write CRM (Content and Resource Management) Software for small businesses. They are a relatively new company. I have been here for a month and I’ve been loving it since my first day. The first day I walked in, they basically said “Here’s your system. Pick an OS and install it and set up your development environment”. I was like “Awesome!”. Of course, I set up PC-BSD (which is basically a FreeBSD distro). The environment at Infusion Software is very energetic and fast-paced. The demographic is also rather young. During my interview they showed me around and when I got to the developer room, they showed me a projector and said “This is where we play Halo or Guitar Hero 3 when we need to take a break”. ‘Nuff said. I’m glad everything eventually worked out. I was rather stressed after my house got wrecked, and to add to it, I got laid-off. The way my friend Suhrid puts it. “You have the weirdest luck in the world. Really bad stuff happens to you, but then something really cool happens after that to make it better than before… you got to remodel your home for a great price, and you got a better job!”

My parents came down for a month at the beginning of January. My mom’s staying behind to help me set up the house. Of course, because of that I had to tell my girlfriend that she couldn’t come over anymore (this is all true, yes it is). Oh yeah, so I’m renting out my house. My parents had bought a house here that they don’t live in. So I’ve basically moved over there. It’s a bit of a drive to places, but nothing too bad.

Oh yes, I finally got to put my citizenship to use. Yes, I voted in the primaries. I registered as Republican so I could vote for Ron Paul. Let’s just say that I believe in a lot of what he says because I identify myself as Libertarian. I know a lot of people said that he wasn’t going to win, but that wasn’t the point. This country needs to change. It’s constitutionally a multi-party system, but the only parties that matter are the Republicans and Democrats and they haven’t been doing anything for this country. The current administration has done a great job of ignoring that piece of paper this country was founded up. The subtle erosion of Civil Rights alarms me. We need to remember what this country was founded upon. Honest, law-abiding citizens should have no fear of their government. That is why I support Ron Paul. It is besides the point that he didn’t win. We need to challenge the current situation. We need to change the current situation. Of course, the idiotic media ignored Ron Paul and didn’t even talk about him. Despite that, the man was able to garner a large and loyal following through the internet. What that says is that there are people who are willing to listen and who want to listen and who want change. The sad truth is that the people with big pockets, and big media exposure get all the attention, and not the people with the good ideas. I hope that in time his ideas will prevail. I hope in time Americans will realize that this country needs to get back to its roots.

That’s about it. I’m going to try and update this blog a little more frequently, but no promises.

Street or River?

Nandos Submerged

McDonalds Submerged

Update

Today (8th of June) I got a chance to look at the aftermath of Gonu. My parents called me last night and told me that things in Oman are pretty bad. They are staying put in Dubai at my uncle’s place. There was no way for them to get from Seeb airport to their house. The roads were flooded. Low-lying areas like Qurum were completely submerged. I saw the pictures of the aftermath today. Roads have completely caved in. Bridges and walkways are just gone. All of Qurum – it’s all gone. Completely damaged. I have no idea what they are going to do to those homes and all the shopping malls they have in the business district. There is so much water damage. The Omani roads weren’t built with to handle this kind of weather. It looks like the water washed away all the sediment underneath the roads, leading to cave-ins and craters.

I heard that places like Wadi-Kabir and Al-Ghubra experienced flooding too. I wonder how my school is doing. My parents’ house is fine. They live in a place that’s kind of high.

I don’t know if they have anything set up for international donations. Currently they have something that accepts donations from Omanis only. But please spread the world. These people need help.

Darsait Bridge

Love Road

Seeb Beach Road

Cars washed away

YouTube Vidoes

Cyclone Gonu, Oman, Muscat
Muttrah Rains

Images courtesy mindazi.com and Sleepless In Muscat

Also check out Sleepless In Muscat and My Dhaba

My whole vacation was about “change”. Scratch that. Going to war, coming back, and settling into normal life has been about change. Usually I’m averse to change. Yeah, I’m that guy who orders the same damn thing everytime I go to a restaurant. Mostly because I really like the dish. It’s not so much I like being in a rut (I don’t), but it’s more that once I am comfortable with something, I don’t like changing it. Change makes me stressful and agitated and I usually don’t like it. I like to have a handle on every aspect of the situation and I hate “unknowns”. But if anything, I think I’ve learned how to deal with change.

I find myself thinking of the “good old days” a lot. I get patronizing scoffs from older people (people in their 40′s or 50′s) when I say this, but seriously; it’s true. After college, a lot of things changed. I started working, I got a house, and then I went to war. I listen to music on the radio, and I say “What is this shit? Music was so much better in the 90′s!”. That’s also when I realize that I sound like my father (of course, he claims music was better in the 70′s). But again, it’s more than that. I think I’m in that gray area when you realize that you’re actually starting to become a “grown-up”. Some people say it’s because you lose the clichéed “innocence of childhood”. But I think calling it the “ignorance of childhood” is more apposite, and as we all know, another cliché tells us that “ignorance is bliss”. My view of the world has become significantly grayer and duller over the years by layers and layers of cynicism. I don’t mean this just figuratively. No, really – I distinctly remember the days being brighter when I was younger. Is that what happens when you “grow up”? I remember wonderful summers in India, when I was seven or eight. There is this tree in our backyard that we children would play around. The sunlight was brighter, and butterflies would be flitting around us as we played. I didn’t see that many butterflies when I went to India this time, or the last time for that matter. Maybe I wasn’t looking hard enough.

When you grow up there are a lot of new things you learn, things you wished you didn’t know. You are expected to take part in “grown up” discussions and things like that. Stuff that’s really tiresome. Sometimes I feel that everyone talks, but nothing gets done. That’s really frustrating for an engineer, who’s whole life revolves around solving problems. I’d say for the most part of the eight years since I left highschool, my life was constant. But I think it was the going away for a year that made me realize how much had really changed. Being out there for a year made me re-evaluate so many things, especially my personal relationships (these especially for the better). I think part of it was because I was a passive spectator to my own life, one that was moving along without me. I mean, life wasn’t really “going on” for me. Life for me, was Arizona and I sure as hell wasn’t in Arizona for a year. It’s funny when I try to place things or relate to things and I realize that my point of reference is from two years ago. It’s very disorienting to immerse yourself into an environment that’s a year ahead of you… like stepping into a moving train.

One of the major “changes” I’ve had to deal with is my little sister’s marriage. I knew it was going to happen one day, but it was more of an abstract concept than something concrete. But yeah, my baby sister is getting married – later this year in fact. It’s a happy occasion, but still different than what I’ve been used to. Some changes haven’t been so happy. It’s sad when you look at an old photograph and realize some of the people are no longer around… and that some of them won’t be around much longer. I wonder if cynicism is the inevitable consequence of knowledge and adulthood. I do find myself looking at a lot of things through jaded eyes. Somewhere along the way I lost the sense of wonder I had during my childhood, or even in my early college-years. I guess I still believe in the goodness of things, but more often than not I am surprised by it.

I think it will get better though. Being in touch with my family, being around my family, and in the company of old friends helps it out quite a bit. Just like anything else, it’s always only a matter of time…

I’ve got a few pictures here from my trip in India. There are a few missing which I will upload later. There are also others that I lost when the drive on my laptod died (this always happens to me). I’m going to try and salvage what I can from it this weekend and see if I can get the pictures back. I’ve got pictures of my highschool teachers and highschool principal here. The feeling I have towards them can only be called “reverence”. In Hinduism they say that the Guru (teacher) is equal to God. Nothing could be further from the truth when describing my teachers. I would not be where I am today, without their help.

Acha

Amma

A Newfoundland I met at JFK.

The cutest doggie in the world.

Mr. Andrews, Mr. Dogra, and I.

One of the most amazing persons I have ever known.

My old class-teacher, Mr. Joy standing in front of good old 12 A!

Mrs. Ghosh, my old Ibri house house-mistress. She never actually taught me, but that seems irrelevant. I still remember reciting a piece from G. B. Shaw’s Pygmalion for the House Recitation compeition.

I certainly wouldn’t have understoon Electricity and Magnetism if it wasn’t for Mr. Srinivas. One of the most interesting and engaging teachers I’ve had.

Mr. Stanislaus wouldn’t let me synthesize RDX in the Chemistry Lab. That was probably a good thing. It’s also because of him that I can still amaze Chemistry Geeks with my random bits of Chem knowledge.

Our cats in Muscat. Thomas, Sundari (meaning “pretty one” in Malayalam), Karamban (meaning “black one” in Malayalam), and Tiger Poocha (literally translated, “Tiger Cat”. It’s a name I made up).

Ok, so this last month (May), I went on leave. My leave date was the 8^th of May. Little did I know that this day would be the beginning of what I would like to call…

The Worst Travelling Experience Ever

We meet our hero at BIAP where he is waiting with his fellow soldiers to get a flight to Kuwait. It is around 8 in the morning, and the day hasn’t gotten hot just yet. Everywhere there are Soldiers, Marines, Airmen, Seamen and Civilians sitting and waiting. Some are playing cards or talking amongst themselves. Others are listening to music, or watching movies on their laptops, or reading books. Still others are sprawled out on benches or on the dusty concrete floor, sleeping, using their luggage as pillows. At about 9 in the morning, a formation is called. As our hero hurries and falls in, he looks around and notices Captains, Majors, and Sergeant Majors also in formation. It strikes him as a little funny since he usually sees them in front of a formation, and not in one. Leave – the great equalizer. Somebody comes up to the front of the formation and informs everyone that there are two flights leaving Baghdad. The first one leaves at 12 noon, while the second one leaves at 10 pm. However, there are personnel who have been waiting at BIAP since yesterday, and therefore, they will be given preference for the 12 noon flight. Our hero hopes and prays that there is enough room on the flight for him. However, he has been in the Military long enough to know that expecations are rarely met, and Murphy’s Law holds sway most of the time. Sure enough, there isn’t enough room on the flight and he has to wait for the 10 pm flight. He settles in for a Long and Boring day.

It is past noon. The time is irrelevant. Our Hero is extremely bored. It is much hotter than it had been in the morning, and there is a hot and dry wind whipping through everything, drying everything out. Lips feel like parchment. He drifts in and out of sleep. There is only one thing on his mind. Getting to India on time for his Brother’s Wedding. He is understandably anxious and keeps exploring all the different possibilities that this journey could take. In the best scenario, he reaches India on the evening of the 9th, in good time for The Wedding. However, as he will soon find out, this will be far from the case. 5 pm rolls in, bringing a blinding sandstorm in its wake. The sun is blocked from the sky by a huge wall of sand, and the bright sunlight is replaced by a sickly yellow gloom. A lot of people leave the outside waiting area to wait in the tents. Our hero and his buddies decide to stick it out. Sand and grit get everwhere and faces feel like sandpaper.

It is 2200 (10 pm). There is no word on the flight.

It is 0000 (12 am). There is still no word on the flight.

It is 0130 (1:30 am). Finally, everyone is told that the flight has arrived. All of them wait to board the C-5 in a zombie-like daze. His last thought as he drifts to sleep is “Finally made it out of Baghdad… it’s just a hop, skip, and a jump to India now. Everything should go just fine…”

“What do you mean I can’t fly to India?!”
“You need a clearance from the Indian Embassy. You can’t just fly to India.”
“But I’m an Indian Citizen! I hold an Indian Passport! They can’t keep me out of the country!”
“Regardless. Furthermore, you don’t have a Kuwaiti Visa, so you won’t get a departure stamp. And they won’t let you in India without one. You’re a Permanent Resident of the US right? Yeah, so they’ll probably ship you back to the US, not even Kuwait!”
“But see… I have an Indian-”
“I’m sorry, there’s nothing we can do. Rules are Rules. You have four options. You can either cancel your leave, or apply for a Kuwait Visa – this will take a few weeks so you will have to fly back to Baghdad – you can’t wait here, or you can fly to Frankfurt, buy a ticket to India, and get your departure stamp there, or you can fly to the US, buy a ticket to India, and get your departure stamp from there.”